Thursday, November 30, 2006

Emo kid

I don't know what happened to me today. Somewhere between listening to a certain person complain all day about being micromanaged and feeling like my pants were too tight, I completely lost it. And by completely, I meant almost breaking down at my desk because Jamie didn't IM me back and Erin had to work late. What the hell? It's actually a feeling that I experienced a lot pre-Lexapro. An actual physical feeling of anxiety, tension and stingy eyes that could leak at any moment. I just don't know where it came from. I really can't think of anything that's happend that's beyond the normal drama that I let encompass my days. Sure, I haven't seen some of my friends in a long time (ahem, JW) and it bothers me and work is well...work and that bothers me too but none of these things seem tear-inducing. Sometimes life seems rather overwhelming and I'm not sure why. The marathon training, for one, gets to me. I still need to run 2 3-milers and an 8-miler this week. If I'm freaking out about not having enough time for Week 1 of training, how the hell am I going to do this? I don't give up. I don't fail. I have to do it. I just don't want to lose any semblance of a social life that I might have. I just don't know how to fit it all in. It scares me that this is happening so soon.

I listented to some slit your wrist music, took a nap and ate some ice cream and now I feel somewhat better. I'm going to the gym in about half an hour to do the 3-miler. I went at 8 last night and couldn't find a parking spot.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Cut short

The good news: I got up at 6:35 for my 3 mile run.
The bad news: I only ran about 2.25 miles.

The reason: I'm sick of my 3 mile route. It's always the same. It's on crowded streets and parts of it don't have sidewalks. So I decided to take an alternative route. I knew that if I just did the loop, it wouldn't be three miles so I thought of a way to tack on some extra mileage. It was fairly warm out and I didn't have a hard time getting into my run. I'd put some new music on my shuffle for the Turkey Chase and was enjoying it. Then my stomach started hurting and I decided to cut my run short and go home. My stomach basically always hurts. I can't figure out what causes it but it doesn't normally hurt in the morning. It's normally caused by some sort of food intolerance or stress; none of which I was experiencing. I felt like I was getting my period. My period is on the irregular side. It goes through cycles of reguarity and then it decides to skip a month (or 4) and then come all the time. I guess it missed me because it's back. It's back after showing up 2 and a half weeks ago. Ugh. Not only is this inconvenient as all hell, but it makes quite an expensive little medical quirk seeing as I like expensive tampons. At least I'm not pregnant. I mean, not that I thought I was, but at least I'm not.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Back in the swing of things...

I had fun in MD. I got to see old friends, see my family and sleep. Unfortunately, my workout routine suffered. I did the 10K and then ran 3 miles through Bethesda on Monday but that was it. I'm a person that strives on routine. I am not spontaneous and I don't like interruption to the norm. So in a way, I was very glad to get back to Atlanta and get back into the swing of things. I went to the gym tonight and did a full body workout. I got there at a little bit before 8 and it was packed. I can't even imagine what this gym is going to be like after January. I have to run three 3-milers and one 6-miler this week. The best way that I've found to keep track of all this is to print out the training schedule, stick it on the fridge and highlight what I've done. I'm going to get up tomorrow and run, I think. I hope. I'm seeing a show at the Earl at night and I don't want to have to fight for a treadmill after work. Eric just sent me an email saying he's running the marathon too. This means I know at least 3 other people running it - Erin, Eric and Lauren. Cool man.

I'm only back in the swing of things for a week because I'm going on a cruise on Saturday with my mother and grandmother. I don't know what to think about this.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Bethesda Turkey Chase 10K

I got into MD last night after a long flight that had a layover in Memphis and was also delayed because of the cold, windy weather here. My dad picked me up and it was raining pretty hard. We agreed that if it was raining the next morning, we wouldn't do the race. We tried to find a weather report on AM radio but only found talk radio shows about God. My father asked me if I believed in God. I said I'm agnostic but lean more towards Atheism than Theism. He said he didn't. He dropped me off at my mother's house. I was starving. I had actually brought a Larabar in my purse for the plane ride. Normally, I get a cheap thrill out of the fact that I won't have anything to eat but it always backfires so I didn't even bother. I wanted to go to my favorite restaurant, Lebansese Taverna. "All the way in Rockville??" my mother asked, "There are so many restaurants in Bethesda!" Rockville is like 10 minutes away. So we went there and they got rid of my favorite menu item, the veggie sandwich. The only veggie thing that they had was Falafel. We got some salad and hummus and split a bowl of lentil soup. It was still good. I set my alarm for 7:30 and went to sleep, praying to the God that I might or might not believe in for rain.

My father called at about 7:10. I groggily asked him if it was raining. It wasn't. I got dressed. He was supposed to come with my sister to get me but showed up in a car that I didn't recognize with my sister's friend. Apparently Emma was being a slacker and wouldn't get up. Her friend wanted to do the race though. I asked whos car it was and didn't really get a straight answer. If they bought Emma a car at age 16... At least Eric didn't get one. The race was pretty good. I was a little bit hot. It was kind of hilly; it wasn't too bad though. I finished in 1:04. I don't know what my chip time was. I'd like to break 60 min just like I'd like to break 30 for a 5K but it just doesn't seem to happen.

Then I took a nice nap.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Apprehension

The same thing happens to me everytime I go to Maryland. I'm really excited about it and then at the last minute, I get all nervous. What I am nervous about:

1. That people will think that I've gained weight and actually comment about it.
2. Because two of my best friends are really pregnant.
3. Because I've been out of high school for 10 years.
4. Because a certain person has a girlfriend and I still like him.
5. Because I'm running a 10K in the cold.
6. Because my mother will try to get me try on a million dresses and they won't fit in my normal size.
7. That there won't be any vegetarian dishes at T-giving.
8. That everyone will make a big deal out of me not eating the turkey and I don't have a good answer as to why I don't eat it.

I'm being totally weird and this doesn't have to do with marathon training. I knew this would be like a quarter about marathon training and 75% about all my other neuroses.

Striving for balance, striving for drama

My alarm went off at 6:15 and I quickly reset it so I could sleep another hour. I tried to rationalize that by telling myself that I am feeling a little under the weather. I need to get this morning workout habit to stick and I don't know how. I am not a morning person. I am not a night person either. I am an afternoon person. I am also a cold person; it's freezing in my office.

I'm not feeling particularly happy with myself lately. I don't know why. Nothing bad has happened. I'm just tired. I'm tired of everything being the same and I'm plain ol' tired. I hope that getting away for Thanksgiving will give me a change to re-energize myself. Running, lifting, eating right, work, boys. How do I make it all work without succuming to complete exhaustion? I just don't know. I have such a hard time with balance. I move too fast (B?), I move too slow (A?), I don't know how to find an in-between where I'm happy and leading a balanced life. Or maybe a balanced life is just a utopian state that I'll never reach. Maybe I don't even want balance. I bring drama onto myself all the fucking time. I almost crave it.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Tooting my own horn

I got up at 6:35 this morning and braved the sub-arctic weather and ran 3 miles. I wore my new winter running gear and a hat and I was cold for the first half mile or so but afterwards I felt okay. I have a slight cold so my nose was running all over the place, but all in all, it was a decent run. I always thought that I liked working out at night because I like to have something to do. I'll admit it though, it is so nice to not have that obligation hanging over my head. I'm supposed to have dinner with Jamie tomorrow. I haven't hung out with him in a long time. I'm going to try to gym it in the morning again so I don't have to worry about how long we'll be out or whatever.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

A lot of rambling and very little running

I was supposed to do an 8 mile long run this weekend and I just didn't. Erin and I saw Borat yesterday and then I shopped at Atlantic Station for a while and when I got home, I was tired and it was almost time to go to meet some people to see a concert. So, I decided that I would just do the long run today. I didn't really count on not getting home until 4 am and not getting to sleep until God knows when. So basically all I wanted to do today was sleep on the couch and eat a salad from Whole Foods which is, oddly enough, my go-to hangover food. I did manage to make it to the gym tonight and do some lifting. I think that I feel like I'm gaining weight because I've been neglecting weight training so much. I think I'm going to try to do a full body routine twice a week. I'm going to start getting to sleep earlier and exercising in the morning. Marathon training "officially" starts next week.

A side note - my mother told me that I shouldn't have invited Sean to my HS reunion because people might think he is my boyfriend. I said, "Why does it matter?" and she said, "You could meet someone." Now, why would I want to meet someone in DC? I live in Atlanta. I guess that's my mother's odd way of trying to get me to move back there.

A good salad, a la Miriam from work:
Spinach
Goat cheese
Cherry flavored craisins
Slivered almonds
whatever dressing - I used Paul Newman's LF Sesame Ginger.

Yummo.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Where's my +1?

I'm 28. And a half, I guess. Lately, I've just felt old. A big part of this is because my 10 year high school reunion is next weekend. It's not so much the 10 year part that bothers me, it's the thought of, "Shouldn't I have accomplished more in the past ten years?" It has a lot to do with still being single, I guess. I'm not one of those girls (or should I start referring to myself as a woman since I have become old?) that is always trying to find a boyfriend. But I feel like at this point in my life, I'm supposed to be in a serious relationship. Eva, Margaret, Kirsten and Maya have all been married for years. Maya has two kids. Eva and Kirsten are about to have one. It freaks me out. I don't want kids right now and I don't care that much about being married, but I feel like I'm supposed to at this age. I was looking at the Evite for the reunion and so many people had a +1 by their name. Where's my +1? (Actually, it's Sean, but that doesn't count since I think he has a +1 of his own.) Is it going to be the guy that was in my car until all the other cars in the parking lot were gone but we couldn't tell cause the windows were so fogged up? The guy that I hang out with every weekend but nothing has ever happened? I don't like dating. I don't like checking my phone to see if he called or texted or constantly wondering if he just wants to be friends. Adam and I went to see Death Cab for Cutie last night which totally added to me feeling old. The average age there was probably 16. Adam pointed out that instead of putting up lighters at a slow song, "people of a younger generation" put up their cell phones. It was totally true. I mean, I know it's to have their friends hear the songs, but the light coming from the phones kind of looked like a lighter flame and that freaked me the hell out.

Okay, I'm going back to sleep. That'll stop me from moping.

5 miles and a note to self

5 miles after work today. T'was good. I get off work at 4 on Fridays, so I had enough time to get the run in before it got dark. It was pretty easy. It always gets easy right when I get to Target which is about a mile. That's helpful though because I tell myself, "You're almost at Target." and it just gets easier then. My new shoes have been working out well too. They're Sauconys and I think they have a wider toe box than my old Mizunos. I'm doing an 8 mile run either tomorrow or Sunday. Probably tomorrow. I know I'm really not supposed to do a 5 and then an 8 two days in a row like that, but I think it'll be okay. The 5 was pretty easy. That shocks me sometimes. Like when did running 5 miles become easy? I mean, it's not easy like running for 5 minutes would be, but I'm definitely not dying at the end. And that makes me wonder. I don't push myself speedwise when I run. I push myself distancewise, but it's always a comfortable speed. Is that a bad thing? There are constantly debates on Runners World about running with music vs not running with it. People in the headphoens are bad camp always say that running with music takes away the whole essence of the sport. That you aren't supposed to "zone out." But I say what's wrong with zoning out? I like the way my thoughts flow when I run with music. From running to races to boys to song lyrics to nothing. I like to zone out. I don't see anything wrong with it. I'm so hyperaware of every little detail in my life that it's nice to just get a break. For some reason, it only works when I have music though. I can't zone out when I'm doing speedwork. I guess I'm never going to get any faster. Who knows?

Note to self: If you kind of like two different boys, do not invite them to the same event. Oops. Fortunately, one might not be able to go and the other one hasn't responded to my text.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

So much to do!

I have so much to do tonight. I need to run 5 miles since I wimped out about it on Tuesday and only did 2.25. I also need to prepare for something that I am not ready to discuss online yet for fear of jinxing myself. The Office and Grey's are both on and I'd like to take a nap before I succumb to complete exhaustion. Going to bed at 2:30 am on a Wednesday when I have all this shit to do is not really a wise idea. Then again, when have I ever been one to have wise ideas. I hate that I can't just go to the gym now. Even if I was able to score a treadmill, there is no way that I could be on it for almost an hour without the death stares into the back of my head for exceeding the 20 minute rule. 20 minutes? What can be accomplished in 20 minutes? It would all be perfect, I would get home in time for my tv shows and do my preparation for the "thing" while I'm watching tv. I think I'm going to like working out in the morning. Maybe not tomorrow morning.

Death Cab is tomorrow! Woo hoo. Ted Leo is opening.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

In a bizarre twist of events...

I woke up at 6:15 and went to the gym to lift weights. It wasn't so bad. Okay, that's a lie. It was raining and dark out and I wanted to be under my covers but I made do with my warm UVM sweatshirt instead. At the gym, I tried to pretend that it was dark out because it was nighttime, not because no normal person goes to the gym at this hour. I did enjoy having more time than usual though. If I go at lunch, I can fit in a half an hour which really isn't enough. I can fit in more at night if I don't have any plans but the problem with working out at night is that I'm not tired until late and I don't get a good nights sleep. I figure that eventually I'm going to have to run in the morning. I can't really do 6 and 8 mile runs at night. It's too dark outside and too crowded at the gym.

This did not give me a surge of energy though. I am going to take a nap now. I'm like a little kid. I need my nap time. I wish I had a cot in my office.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

This week is flying by

I love that, but don't love the feeling of, "How the hell am I going to fit it all in?" I am already feeling like my clothes are tight. I'm scared to step on the scale. Now is not the time to be a gym slacker. Yesterday I did 2 miles at a 10:00 pace and then I did lower body. Actually, I did lower body first but whatever. Between tonight and Sunday, I need to fit in a 5 mile speedwork run (only 3 miles are speedwork, the other two are warm up and cool down), an easy 2 miler and an 8 miler. Also, at least two more weight sessions. Am I going to burn myself out this way? This is nothing. My mileage is nothing. 17 miles. At the height of the training period, I'm going ot be running 40 miles. I have run more than 17 before. When I was training for both half marathon's I at least got up to high twenties. What is wrong with me? Why do I feel overwhelemed?

Tonight - 5 mile speedwork
Tomorrow - at lunch - upper body. I'm going to WNDC with JL at night.
Thursday - 2 miles. I guess I can't go out. That's okay though. I need to prepare for something anyway.
Friday - lower body & abs. Death Cab concert at night if I can find someone to come with me.
Either Saturday or Sunday will be the 8 miler. Depending on what I do Friday night, I suppose.

Seems doable. The only problem is that I'm sleepy and running 5 miles is not on the top of my things I would like to do tonight list.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

You can never go home again

This Sunday night depression gets kind of bad sometimes. I'm sitting on my computer doing absolutely nothing blinking back tears. Why? This really does happen to me once a week. The idea of starting out another work week seems really bleak. Is this my life? 2 days out of 7 that I look forward to and the rest just filler? I know I shouldn't live that way. It's not healthy. I cannot wait to go to MD for Thanksgiving. I just need a break. I need to get out of Atlanta for a while. I got nostalgic about living in DC the other day. Wendy and I were talking about sleeping on the subway and I just remembered what my life was like when I used to ride the metro to work. I was a different person then. For a second, I missed it. I don't know what "it" actually is. Not really riding the metro, but being there. Being in that city. The city that is so strange and foreign to me now. I've thought about moving back. I know it wouldn't be the same. Not the same as it was, but the same as I see it in my head. Sometimes when I visit, I do miss it. I want to stay. Other times, I'm ready to go back. I think it's related to how much...uhh.. fun I've had there. Sometimes I wish I could just meet my mother for tapas or go running and get bagels with my dad more than a few times a year. I did it to myself though. I moved 500 miles away for no reason.

Ugh

I always get so depressed on Sunday nights. Right now it's for a kind of stupid reason. There's this girl that I know and I feel like she doesn't like me because I'm friends with a certain guy. Not exactly that she doesn't like me, but that she doesn't want me and the guy to be friends. It's stupid but it makes me feel kind of bad. I like to be liked. Not to sound cocky or anything (whatever, it's my blog), but I think I'm a pretty likeable person. It just bothers me. It's like she tries to interfere with he and I being friends because I guess there's some jealousy issue. It's just making me upset and it shouldn't. I shouldn't care. It's her issue not mine. I can be friends with whomever I please. He and I are just friends and even if anything more were ever to happen, I can do that too.

Stress relief tends to manifest itself through shopping. At least for me. It's kind of stupid because then I just stress out about not having money. I digress...

I bought a visor, running tights, a cold weather shirt and a sports bra at Dick's. I bought some work pants at Target.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Experiment

I just got back from a 7 mile run. It was okay. Not good and not bad. I decided that it was time to experiment with food and gels and what works and what does not. I've run this distance plenty of times without any water, much less food, but I wanted to try anyway. I ate peanut butter and jelly on an english muffin about an hour and half before I ran. I also had half of a clif nectar bar. It was cloudy and breezy out but there was a lot of humidity. Atlanta weather is so weird. It was 80 degrees yesterday. Last week, when I ran that 5K, it was 28. At that 5K, they gave out Powerbars and gels and stuff so I decided to take the gel with me and see if it helped. My plan was to eat it around mile 5. Around mile 3.5, I was on this very hilly, windy road. Ironically, I had to walk some of the downhills. I was afraid I would fall. It tired me out a bit but I kept going. I ate the gel around mile 4.5. It was Powerade vanilla flavored. It was a bit sweet but not too terrible. I've heard good things about Gu Chocolate Outrage or something like that. It did seem to help though. The route also got less hilly at this point. It's funny that yesterday, Lauren posted about not being able to run without music because of course, my Ipod died when I had like 2 miles to go. It wasn't so bad though. I think if it had happened in the beginning of the run, it would have been worse. What's weird is that when I run with music, my mind wanders which I enjoy. When I run without music, all I think about it that I'm running. I tried to play the alphabet game. My mom and I used to play that all the time in the car. It's the game where you have to find a sign that begins with the letter A, then B and so on. I got to I. Then I got home. Getting home is better than finishing my game!

Off to a beer festival in a few hours. Got to counteract all that healthy activity.

Friday, November 10, 2006

100 Things about Me

1. I like to make lists.
2. I’m a Mac snob.
3. I spend entirely too much time on the internet
4. I like beer
5. I am originally from Rockville, Maryland.
6. I get excited everytime I hear the REM song, “Don’t go back to Rockville.”
7. I own over 300 CDs but only buy MP3s now.
8. I have been to at least 15 Dave Matthews concerts
9. I was an RA my senior year of college.
10. I am extremely inflexible and can’t touch my toes.
11. I don’t like orange juice but I like oranges.
12. I majored in Art.
13. Every job that I have had has actually been related to my degree.
14. I spent a semester in London during my Junior year of college.
15. I worked at a movie theater for 4 summers during high school/college.
16. I have run 2 half marathons, 1 10K and 2 5Ks.
17. I have a hard time running without music.
18. I am currently obsessed with watching “Six Feet Under.”
19. I like to talk to people on instant messanger while I’m at work.
20. I am still good friends with a lot of people from high school.
21. I haven’t kept in touch with many people from college.
22. I like to text message when I’m drunk.
23. I have a stuffed animal bloodhound named Mr. Detective.
24. I have slept with the same blanket since I was 8.
25. People think I’m 5-10 years younger than I really am.
26. I don’t really know how to put makeup on.
27. I am addicted to diet coke.
28. I moved to Atlanta for no real reason with no job.
29. Jamie and I were roommates for 3 years.
30. I still miss my dog that died 10 years ago.
31. I’m liberal.
32. I don’t like confrontation. I shy away from it. Probably too much.
33. I can be shy.
34. I cry when I’m mad or frustrated.
35. My apartment is usually messy.
36. I like shoes.
37. I don’t like used clothes.
38. I played rugby in college but was terrible.
39. I was good at the drinking part though.
40. I’m on a kickball team.
41. I’m only slightly better than I was at rugby.
42. I have bad handwriting.
43. My hair was straight until puberty, then it got curly.
44. The same thing happened to my brother and sister.
45. I go to a lot of concerts.
46. I love chips and salsa.
47. I drive a stick shift.
48. I like taking naps. Especially after a run.
49. I’m scared of running a marathon.
50. Two of my best friends from high school are pregnant. Another has two kids.
51. I don’t like mayo.
52. I recently went to California for the first time.
53. I can spend a lot of money at Target.
54. I went through a period where all I ate for breakfast was cottage cheese, peanut butter, cereal and splenda mixed together.
55. I don’t drink enough water.
56. I’m good with directions and everyone always hands me the phone when they need to tell someone how to get somewhere.
57. My eyebrows grow really fast.
58. After the Charlottesville Half Marathon, two of my toenails fell off but they grew back.
59. I like wine but don’t know anything about it.
60. I’m not a very good cook.
61. I don’t really like cake.
62. I hate the font “Sand.”
63. I like to talk about design.
64. I’ve been to England, Ireland, Spain, France and Italy.
65. I’ve also been to Canada.
66. The first time I smoked a cigarette, I was 11. I never picked up the habit though.
67. I liked hummus before it was trendy.
68. The only person that I like to eat tapas with is my mother.
69. I fill out those dumb myspace surveys from time to time.
70. I’ve had a small stud in my nose for more than 3 years. I’ve never taken it out. It did almost fall out once and Jamie had to put it back in.
71. I don’t really like ice in my soda.
72. I take all my recyclables to Whole Foods and recycle them there.
73. I like to take baths.
74. I have a major sweet tooth.
75. I don’t eat fast food.
76. My parents got divorced when I was three.
77. My father got remarried when I was seven.
78. My stepmother owns a store that sells dog apparel.
79. I’m a “pescatarian,” meaning I eat fish but no other meat. No chicken.
80. I only eat fish because I can’t imagine life without sushi.
81. My favorite restaurant is the Whole Foods salad bar.
82. I like boiled peanuts.
83. I’ve tried internet dating.
84. I’m having a hard time coming up with any more of these.
85. I like to take pictures.
86. If you said, “draw an elephant,” I couldn’t, however if you gave me a photo of a celebrity, I could draw it pretty well.
87. I sip my shots.
88. I get made fun of for this.
89. I try to do the Yahoo crossword puzzle every day, but rarely finish it.
90. I think I’m a tomboy but all my guy friends say I’m pretty girly.
91. I watch too much MTV.
92. I don’t really have any crushes on celebrities.
93. I never seem to have any cash on me.
94. My first concert was New Kids on the Block.
95. My second concert was Motley Crue.
96. I have my ten year high school reunion in 2 weeks.
97. I have two Ipods and want a Nano.
98. I like to read.
99. I buy magazines like they’re going out of style.
100. The end.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I'm sleepy

Gym or no gym? My 10K training guide says to do an easy 2 miles tonight. However, I'm a bit worn out from my 6 miler last night so I might do it tomorrow. I need to decide one way or another because I'm cutting it dangerously close to Grey's time. I've been snacky tonight. I have cereal in the house. Snacky and cereal are not a good combo for me. Fortunately, I remembered that I bought baby carrots and have been snacking on those instead. I've been really tired lately. I don't know what it's from. I feel like my schedule is all out of whack. I wish that I could go to the gym straight after work because I think it'd help me get to bed earlier. It's just so crowded at that time. I mean, I guess it's okay if I'm just going to lift weights but if I want a treadmill, forget it. Supposedly they're opening a new LA fitness in Atlantic Station, maybe that will alleviate some of the Ansley crowds. Except that Ansley is more of a meat market than a gym sometimes.

My horoscope is telling me to clean my apartment:

The stars urge you to feather your nest. It's prime time for getting your home base in tip-top shape. With your unbeatable sense of style, your place will soon be the prime locale where you and a certain someone can gather.

Okay, I need to decide about the gym thing in the next few minutes. I took a rest day on Sunday. It's OKAY to take one today too if I need it.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Off to be hardcore

I like to think of myself as this hardcore athlete. I'll tell anyone who listens that I'm running a marathon. I'll spend hours on the internet looking up marathon training and reading blogs and articles about those who have done one. But when it comes down to it, sometimes I think it's all an act. I would much rather be in bed. Or be drinking. Or be drinking in bed. But I know I can't just think of myself as hardcore. I have to do it. I have to be it.

On an unrelated note, my hair has gotten very long.

Off to be hardcore.

It tastes sweet

That's what my fortune cookie said. It tastes sweet. What does? The cookie? Sucess? Revenge? Eh, probably the cookie. I didn't eat it so I don't know.

I'm supposed to do a 6 mile run tonight with 4 miles of it being at at tempo (9 something) pace. Ugh. I don't want to do this in the least. I don't want to go to the gym and spend over an hour on the dreadmill. I'm tired. My stomach hurts. But I'm always tired and my stomach always hurts so neither of them are really good excuses. I need to find my schedule. At some point I'm going to have to switch to morning workouts. I just don't know how to fit it all in. Running, work, social life, bumming around. What do I give up? If I give up bumming around aka relaxing, then I get tired and everything else suffers.

My weight gain fear has come creeping back. I feel like my clothes are tight. I'm trying to eat 1800 calories a day. Dave, Jamie's new boy, told me that it's not enough if I'm training for a marathon but right now I'm not training yet so I think it should be okay. I'll increase it if I feel hungry when I start running more. I actually have no idea how accurate my calorie counting is. I had veggie soup and steamed tofu with some sort of ginger/onion sauce from a random menu out of my drawer of Chinese restaurant menus that I have managed to accumulate. How many calories is that? 500? How many calories was my Doc Green's salad? 400? I'll just say that they were. I don't want to get obsessed with this again but I don't want to have to buy all new clothes since mine are no longer fitting. What to do, what to do.

All is not lost as some good things did happen today:
1. The obvi - The dems taking the house and hopefully the senate and Rummy getting out of there.
2. I had to take my car to Marietta because some light came on and whatever it was was under a lifetime warranty so I didn't have to pay. They also replaced my burnt out brake light for free.
3. Umm, I guess that's it. Those are good though. I wish I had DVR or at least a VCR. I am going to miss Top Model. See what I sacrifice to run?

Monday, November 06, 2006

Pics from the weekend

Eating breakfast at Carroll Street Cafe after the race.



Later that day at the Chomp and Stomp.


And even later back at Carroll Street.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sunday night blahs

I get really depressed on Sunday nights. The idea of going to work just seems so overwhelmingly...well, overwhelming. It always ends up ruining my weekend. I need to take advantage of the fact that it is still the weekend instead of making it like a prelude to the week.

I worried. I'm worried that I have a big mouth. That I say too much to people. That I blab about my life on the internet. That I give weirdo guys my phone number and then ignore them. That I'll run out of money. That I'll get fat. That I'll be alone.

Oops, this doesn't seem to be about running.

I did run a 5K yesterday. And I got the exact same time that I always seem to get which is around 30:40.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Haven't had much to say

There is absolutely nothing going on right now. I spent my Friday night at the gym, at Target (where I managed to go in for a case of diet coke and come out with two sweaters,) and watching DVDs. See, my life really isn't all that interesting. I'm running a 5K tomorrow morning with Erin and some other people from kickball. It's at the Chomp & Stomp chili festival. It should be fun. I know a bunch of people that are going. It's supposed to be really cold though. I need to invest in some winter running gear. Running is a much more expensive hobby than one would think. I just dropped 90 bucks on a new pair of shoes because my not-so old ones were hurting my toe. I also need more pants and other outerwear. Not to mention sports bras. I'm sure that wearing the same ones that I've had since 1998 really isn't helping. I might as well go braless.

Well, end of boring post.