Striving for balance, striving for drama
My alarm went off at 6:15 and I quickly reset it so I could sleep another hour. I tried to rationalize that by telling myself that I am feeling a little under the weather. I need to get this morning workout habit to stick and I don't know how. I am not a morning person. I am not a night person either. I am an afternoon person. I am also a cold person; it's freezing in my office.
I'm not feeling particularly happy with myself lately. I don't know why. Nothing bad has happened. I'm just tired. I'm tired of everything being the same and I'm plain ol' tired. I hope that getting away for Thanksgiving will give me a change to re-energize myself. Running, lifting, eating right, work, boys. How do I make it all work without succuming to complete exhaustion? I just don't know. I have such a hard time with balance. I move too fast (B?), I move too slow (A?), I don't know how to find an in-between where I'm happy and leading a balanced life. Or maybe a balanced life is just a utopian state that I'll never reach. Maybe I don't even want balance. I bring drama onto myself all the fucking time. I almost crave it.
I'm not feeling particularly happy with myself lately. I don't know why. Nothing bad has happened. I'm just tired. I'm tired of everything being the same and I'm plain ol' tired. I hope that getting away for Thanksgiving will give me a change to re-energize myself. Running, lifting, eating right, work, boys. How do I make it all work without succuming to complete exhaustion? I just don't know. I have such a hard time with balance. I move too fast (B?), I move too slow (A?), I don't know how to find an in-between where I'm happy and leading a balanced life. Or maybe a balanced life is just a utopian state that I'll never reach. Maybe I don't even want balance. I bring drama onto myself all the fucking time. I almost crave it.
posted by Lee at 12:37 PM
1 Comments:
To make the morning workouts stick, I had to put my alarm far enough away that I had to get out of bed to turn it off. I also had to not let myself make any excuses for the first 8 weeks. Even if it meant that I did yoga or pilates in my living room because I was too sick to go to the gym, I made myself get up and stay that way. For me it was a matter of getting up and doing something, anything to not go back to sleep. I didn't let myself hit snooze or anything else.
I wonder if my snooze trick that I use to get to leave for gym by 5:30 would work better for you. I set the clock 15 minutes earlier than I need it to go off. That way I can hit snooze at least twice before I have to get up. Those two snoozes end up feeling like a long time and I can usually fool myself into feeling like I've gotten extra sleep even though I haven't.
I did a horrible job of explaining that.
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