Lonely
I have come to realize that I have some major issues being alone. At the end of the night, I do not like to go home by myself. I won't go home with someone else or bring someone home that I don't know, but I will try to get my friends to sleep over, especially if they're guys. It's not a sexual thing, I don't know what it is. I know that I should "work" on getting over this; I should "work" on being okay with being alone but I don't want to. I just don't want to be alone. And how do you even work to fix something like that? I know how to fix physical things. I know that if I want to lose ten pounds, I need to stop drinking as much. I know that if I want to run a race, I need to find a training plan and stick to it. But when what you want to change (even though I don't want to change it really) is mental, I just draw a blank.
posted by Lee at 9:57 PM
5 Comments:
I used to be the same way when I was single. Unfortunately I do not have a magical cure for it. I will tell you that I crave that aloneness now.
The only thing that worked for me was forcing myself to be alone and working on figuring out why I was so afraid to be alone. This should definitely be one of the things you work on in therapy.
Question: Why do you not want to change it? That relationship/companionship/boyfriend that you crave won't be successful until you can deal with being alone. You have to be comfortable being you by yourself (physically and emotionally) before you can be in a relationship or else you just project all those feelings of need on to your partner. That's not a healthy relationship at all.
Adina, I guess I don't want to change it because I don't want to be happy being alone because I don't want to be alone. That's some weird circular logic that doesn't make much sense, I know.
I don't want to be alone either, but you can't be "together" with someone until you can be alone.
Working that out is what therapy is for though.
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