That's far away

Kuwait, that is. One of my best friends is moving there for a year. This is my friend S. S lives in Maryland. I have no idea if S reads this blog or not, but I'm going to give you a little background on us. We met in high school. We hung out in the same group and were always close. He's one of the few friends from MD that visited me in Vermont. He had this girlfriend M for a while. Both S and M (haha, that was not intentional) were sort of stuck. They both weren't in school and had dead end mall jobs. So they decided to join the army. In order to be stationed together, they had to be married, so at age 19 or 20, they got married. At some point they lived in Miami. I forget why. My grandparents lived about an hour North of Miami so I saw them when I visited. I remember one time, M was sleeping and S and I went outside to collect golf balls on an golf course at like 3 in the morning. I remember being attracted to him. Nothing happened.

Fast forward a couple years. I graduated from UVM and came back to Maryland. S was living in Georgia, in the army. He and M had broken up. He was visiting and had a party at his mother's house one night. We crossed that line and things became physical. That was in 2000 or 2001. It's stayed that way, on and off, for the past six years. It's a funny relationship and I'm not going to lie, I've probably gotten my heart broken more than once. It's more than just an F buddy or a friend with benefits because this is my best friend. You know that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie decides that she wants to date her fuck buddy and it doesn't work? This isn't like that. It's not just physical. He's my best friend. But the circumstances haven't been right. We've always lived far apart. Neither one of us wants a long distance relationship. We've talked about if we did live in the same city, that we both would be interested in trying it, but the fact of the matter is that we don't. And I don't feel that passionately that I want to leave my life in Atlanta to try something out. I'm sorry, but I don't. I love him to death but it's more of a friendly love. I like the physical aspect, sure, it's fun, but I honestly don't know what it would be like to actually have a relationship with him.

I look forward to visiting Maryland so I can see him. Bottom line. And now he's going away for a year. It sucks. Maybe it's for the best though. Maybe I need to get over him. I just wish he wasn't leaving. I wish he wasn't going to the Middle East. I hope he'll be okay. I hope he doesn't read my blog!