Sob story
I am a little sad right now. I have two more episodes of 6FU until it's over and the last one I watched made me hysterically cry. But it's not so much a TV show that getting me down; it's everything. It's not having a job. It's being by myself all day. It's being alone. I feel so fucking alone right now. I have friends, sure, but between not having any money to spare and running all the time, I barely see them. When I do, I go out and get wasted. This is not what I want. But sometimes I feel the need to cram all the fun, all the conversation that I would have in a week into several hours because that's all I get. A's ignoring or avoiding me. What are we in seventh grade? Because I told him that I liked him? I don't care exactly. He's just some guy. There's always going to be some guy. I know that. I never thought of myself as the type of person that needs a male companion to feel whole, but sometimes it would be nice. Time after time, I fall for the wrong guy. I know there are blogs upon blogs of single women looking for love and I don't want this to become one but damn, why can't I meet a guy that doesn't have some tragic flaw?
I did go out tonight. I met some friends at Twains and I didn't run. It was only three miles that I skipped. I was all set to go to the gym when Jamie called and asked me to meet him out. At first I said no. But then I changed my mind. I needed to get out of my apartment. It's getting claustrophobic.
I got upset earlier today. One of the interviewers, the place where I thought I was really going to get the job, sent me an email saying he was impressed and liked me but they weren't sure if they were going to hire someone or not. If they did, I'd be on the top of the list. But that's an IF and I don't want an IF. I'm sick of my friends asking me how the job search is going. I'm sick of people telling me that it'll be okay. I want it to be okay now.
It's totally this TV show that's got me all depressed. I thought about watching the final two episodes but then realized I'd be up until 2 am and although I don't have to get up early, I resolved to just watch it tomorrow.
I did go out tonight. I met some friends at Twains and I didn't run. It was only three miles that I skipped. I was all set to go to the gym when Jamie called and asked me to meet him out. At first I said no. But then I changed my mind. I needed to get out of my apartment. It's getting claustrophobic.
I got upset earlier today. One of the interviewers, the place where I thought I was really going to get the job, sent me an email saying he was impressed and liked me but they weren't sure if they were going to hire someone or not. If they did, I'd be on the top of the list. But that's an IF and I don't want an IF. I'm sick of my friends asking me how the job search is going. I'm sick of people telling me that it'll be okay. I want it to be okay now.
It's totally this TV show that's got me all depressed. I thought about watching the final two episodes but then realized I'd be up until 2 am and although I don't have to get up early, I resolved to just watch it tomorrow.
posted by Lee at 12:07 AM
4 Comments:
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At least you made impression enough that they called and told you something. I've been on 2 interviews lately where I have heard nothing at all. That is so frustrating.
I can relate to what you are writing - I am going through some of the same emotions. Linked to your blog from another blog, and have enjoyed reading your posts.
Keep your chin up - you're not alone!! ;)
Jkrunning - I hope you find something soon. I think the only reason they wrote me back is that I emailed the guy.
Hi Perpetual State! Thanks for coming by.
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