Although I've been slacking with the running...

I have been doing a lot more strength training. I've been going to a circuit training class that a co-worker's husband (he owns his own personal training studio) teaches on Fridays. He said that he can tell that I've been getting stronger. I hope so. I don't know if it's just the heat, but I still do not feel like running. Last summer, when it was also opressively warm, I just did my runs on the treadmill. I just can't bring myself to do that right now. I still enjoy running outside, so hopefully in a month or so, when it cools off, I can get back into that. I decided not to do the half marathon in October. Training for it was starting to feel like more of a chore than anything else and I don't want running to become a chore. Someone said, "There will always be another race." and that's true. I guess I sort of feel lost without a race looming, without a training plan. Maybe I'll find a nice 10K in October and train for that instead. I don't know. My thoughts about running are so contradictory right now.

I called my mother this morning. We're pretty close but for some reason, I don't like to talk to her about boys. I feel like her ideas are somehow off. I told her about this latest boy a few weeks ago (a few weeks? Have I known him for that long? Weird) and she, of course, asked me about him. I said that we were hanging out after he got off work tonight. She said that I didn't sound that excited. Has my mother ever met me? Do I ever really express excitement about anything? Well, I guess sometimes, but not too often, even if I am. I don't really know where I'm going with this except that I need to learn not to trust my mother's advice about guys. It's old-fashioned.

Speaking of guys, or rather this particular one, the amount of things that he and I have in common is rather bizarre.

Burnt

I don't know what it is. I just don't feel like running anymore. Sure, sometimes I'll get a few miles into a run and feel okay but the motivation just isn't there. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I want to do this anymore. It's so damn hot out and half the treadmills at the gym are broken and the other half are taken even at nine at night. My new shoes are too bouncy and my old ones have no bounce left. It got up to 99 degrees yesterday. How the hell am I supposed to do a 7 mile run in 99 degree weather? Even if we go at 7 am, it'll still be in the 80s. I've always been good at pushing myself in the past. I'm not sure why it's so hard right now. Maybe running all these races were just me trying to challenge myself and now that I've done it, I feel done. Or maybe I'm just lazy.

Nothing new here

I ran my three miles yesterday, outside, humidity and all. I really do enjoy running outside so much better. True, there are hills and it's hot as hell, but somehow my mind wanders and I get into a zone that I just can't get into when I'm staring at the seconds going by on the treadmill.

Tomorrow Adina and I are doing six miles again. I think we're going to do the route that we planned for last Saturday which we changed at the last minute. It's a route that I'm very familiar with so that makes it easier.

In very unlike me fashion, I have just turned down a happy hour invitation.

Life isn't always about running

I started this blog to track my marathon training. I gave it a goofy name and recorded all the trials and tribulations of training for one's first marathon. But, now what? True, I'm training for a half in October, but I just haven't had much of interest to write about regarding running. I'm following a plan that has two shorter runs and one longer run a week combined with some cross training. The runs are short enough on the weekends that there really isn't anything interesting to talk about sometimes. But I feel like this blog should be about running. But I guess life doesn't always do what you think it should.

I have been going to a therapist for a month or so now. We talk about the whole "should" thing a lot. I have a ton of preconcieved notions about what life should be like for me. (And I guess what my blog should talk about, but that's kind of different) I don't know where I get these things; I guess from my friends, from the media, just from the societal norm in general. She sort of hit the nail on the head today when we talked about how I was a little upset because I feel like some of my friends might think I'm somewhat immature. She asked me why that would really bother me. I am not sure. It's related somehow; it's related to not being where I think I should be in life. Maybe it doesn't bother me so much that I'm not where I feel that I should be, but rather that other people might think of me that way. Dunno.

In other news, half of my eyelashes fell off on my right eye. Seriously, what the fuck? I went to put on mascara on Saturday and noticed that a huge chunk of lashes were no longer there. I'm going to the eye doctor next week. So, also I went out with this guy that I met....uhhhh... at the grocery store? (*cough*yahoopersonals*cough) Seems like a cool guy. We're supposed to go out on Saturday night to this super shady underground club that I secretly, or really not so secretly, like. People keep asking me why I'd go on a date there, but hey, that's me.

Instead of not writing about running, maybe I should actually go running. Now there's a novel idea.