Very little on marathon training

I have done absolutely nothing all day. I feel alone. I surrounded myself with friends for the past two days but now it's just me. Sometimes I have problems dealing with just me. I've been sleeping and not doing much else. I need to go to the gym. I didn't do my long run. It's raining. I could do it in the rain but I just don't have it in me right now. I might do today's 4-miler instead at the gym and then do the long run tomorrow. I need to buy printer toner. I need to send out resumes. I need to file for unemployment. I need to do something besides alternating between sleeping and eating jelly beans. I called my mom eariler. She's as upset as I am. She's always been like that. I guess when something crappy happens to your (only) kid, it happens to you too basically. I asked her if I could visit for a few days. She said no. It's probably not a good idea anyway seeing as I need to do the things that I previously mentioned. I just wanted someone around so I didn't feel so alone. Truthfully, it wasn't my mother that I wanted. I wanted S. I don't know why I thought that would of helped. I cannot fill an emotional void with something physical even though that's what I'm tempted to do.

As for A, I haven't heard back from him. That's not unusual though. I really don't understand why he wouldn't want to date me. I mean, we get along really well and there's obviously some physical attraction on his part, so why wouldn't he want to take another step? We're friends but it's not like we've been friends for so long that there's a huge "Oh my god, this may fuck up the friendship and then what?" fear. We do hang out in the same crowd somewhat, so there's that. He just never really told me what he wanted. This isn't me trying to fill a void. This is me really liking him.

To add insult to injury (the injury being my general well-being at the moment, or lack there of), I think I inadvertantly hurt a friend's feelings. I was joking about something about her with some other friends and one of the friends texted her about it to make fun of her. I thought it was not a big deal (it was about her bed) but I guess it was sore spot or something. She said she knew I didn't mean to be malicious or anything but I don't like that I hurt her feelings like that and she wasn't even there.