Notice the time
It's 5:02 am. I'm awake for absolutely no reason. Well not true. I think I'm partially awake because I'm hungry. After an annoying Nothing fits me. I don't undersand why I am have this muffin top thing going on. How do I get rid of it?episode at the mall (italics are meant to be read in a super whiny voice), I went to bed hungry. I had an apple at about nine thirty but tried to ignore that grumbling at midnight. So off to sleep I went, dreaming of pizza bagels and onion soup. So yeah, now here it is 5:06 am, my last day of sleeping in, and I'm completely awake and had to eat.
I can never tell with the food thing. I can't tell if I'm nervous about the job and am projecting my anxieties into other things instead of that. I'm sure that's part of it. But really, my pants don't feel right. And I do have the muffin top thing going on, especially in the back.
I hate it when I get this way. I don't want to be one of those people that's obsessed with her body. You'd think that training for a marathon would help me. You'd think that I'd learn to view my body as strong and capable. Sometimes I do. But then I go into Old Navy, where their pants haven't fit right in years but I forget that, and I can't button the 8s and my self-image plummets. By stupid cheap-ass Old Navy.
Fucked up.
Sometimes I don't want to write about stuff like this. I want to pretend it doesn't exist. I could pretend. I could just write about running thousands of miles and funny adecdotes about boys and dates gone awry, but this is part of who I am, or at least who I am right now, and I don't think I should deny that.
I can never tell with the food thing. I can't tell if I'm nervous about the job and am projecting my anxieties into other things instead of that. I'm sure that's part of it. But really, my pants don't feel right. And I do have the muffin top thing going on, especially in the back.
I hate it when I get this way. I don't want to be one of those people that's obsessed with her body. You'd think that training for a marathon would help me. You'd think that I'd learn to view my body as strong and capable. Sometimes I do. But then I go into Old Navy, where their pants haven't fit right in years but I forget that, and I can't button the 8s and my self-image plummets. By stupid cheap-ass Old Navy.
Fucked up.
Sometimes I don't want to write about stuff like this. I want to pretend it doesn't exist. I could pretend. I could just write about running thousands of miles and funny adecdotes about boys and dates gone awry, but this is part of who I am, or at least who I am right now, and I don't think I should deny that.
posted by Lee at 5:02 AM
2 Comments:
Could the sudden pants not fitting be cardio bloat? I know "Tri" from the other board has mentioned it before. How have you been about weight training? That could contribute too. Or maybe (this is the one that happens to me) your weight is shifting because of all the running and changing how your clothes fit and what size you wear.
I have been sucking at weight training. I don't have any excuses for it; I just have been doing it once or maybe twice a week at most.
I think my body shape is changing because of the running. The pants aren't too tight, they just fit differently. They are tighter in the thighs but looser in the waist.
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