New blog

I've decided to start bloging again but I'm going to start anew. The primary purpose of this blog was to track my marathon training. That was almost a year ago. The title of this blog seems irrelevant and sounds stupid and childish anyway.

My primary focus right now is to get back into the best shape that I can be in. So my new blog is going to be less about boys (especially since I have a boyfriend now and I want him to read it if he wants) and more about food, exercise and health. It might be boring, but I think it'll be a helpful way for me to get back on track. I've fallen way off track. I've gained about 15 pounds and while I'm still at a "normal" weight, it's coming close to being overweight and I don't like it.

I want to lift heavier weights. I bought the book The New Rules of Lifting for Women. It encourages lifting heavy and gives a good training plan. I've also been counting calories. I know that can lead to bad places, but right now I think it'll help.

So, here is my new blog - In My Tummy

Come visit!

Busy Bee

I used to be an avid blogger. Not so much on this site, but a different one. I don't know what's happened in the past few months, but I just haven't felt like writing much. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I don't get online (much) at work. In previous jobs, I was just so bored with the entire internet, that basically all I would do is read other people's blogs and bitch about my life. Now, I only have time to read some blogs and my life isn't all bad.

I've been going to the gym and trying to eat better. I thought of doing weight watchers for a while but think that's not really good for me because I end up eating all sort of processed junk. My body really does respond well to not eating many carbs so I think I'm going to try to go that route again. Not no-carb just no refined carbs, or rather limited refined carbs because I love me some Harry & David's Moose Munch that someone at the office is bound to get in the mail.

Trash TV

Yes, not only is The Hills on tonight but so is The Real World. Is it sad that this made my week?

I like to think of myself as somewhat intellectual, but I just love the trash TV including:

• The Hills
• The Real World
• America's Next Top Model
• Keeping Up With the Kardashians
• Beauty and the Geek
• What Not To Wear
•  Made (I'll have you know this was nominated for an Emmy)
• True Life

Ooh, Trisha's going to put Parisa. Gotta go.

Mysteries of the world

1. Why I can't touch my toes in Pilates.
2. Why Pilates always makes me want to fart.
3. Why I stopped running and completely lost my ability to run miles and miles.
4. Why my butt suddenly needs it's own zip code

and my favorite

5. Why, after almost a year of taking the exact same route to work, it suddenly takes me 15 minutes longer and everyday I am late. Which means I gotta go, yo.

A weekly recap (if I can remember)

Monday: pilates class, ate normally
Tuesday: ran for 30 minutes, made a vegetable lasagna
Wednesday: lifted upper body during lunch, played trivia with jason at a mexican restaurant (second place, down from our 2 week winning streak), stayed away from the chips and salsa, did not stay away from the beer. But it was light beer.
Thursday: out to lunch for work. tried to be good. ate two rolls though and a crab fritter that i didn't even like. not good at all. Stuck in an hour and a half traffic jam because the highway patrol was looking for a bank robber. On I-75!!! Starving when I got home, ate some of the lasagna. Met Jason, Jamie and Emily at a bar. Didn't drink too much. Ate a chips and dip appetizer. Dip was healthy, chips were not.
Friday: super stairmaster thingy at the gym for an hour. bought a box of cereal. not a good idea.
Saturday: Threw away said cereal. I cannot have cereal in the house. Ran 3.5 miles outside. Went bowling. Ate pizza. Drank too much.
Sunday: Healthy lunch, no work out.

So, my week was eh. Good on the workout front, not so good on the drinking front.

Roommates?

I've been fantasizing about dogs. Golden retreivers. I want one. A bundle of love and an excuse to make me more responsible because I have to go home, you know to let the dog out. It sounds perfect. Except that my apartment is literally the size of a closet. A large closet, but a closet nonetheless. Lee, doggie and Lee's mess would not fit.

Jason's lease is up in March. He wants to buy a house. With a yard. For my dog.

And me.

We have these conversations all the time. About our hypothetical future situations. But the living together hypothetical situation might not be so hypothetical. I've never lived with a boyfriend before. It seems like it's too soon. But right now, it's only November and really we wouldn't live together until next August, when my lease is up. How do you live with someone? I've had roommates and the living space is ours but my room has always been mine. Well, except in college but that was different since my idea of decoration amounted to a bunch of Phish and Bob Marley posters so I could pretend that I was all crunchy in an effort to make friends with some people who knew where to get some pot.

Anyhow, I digress.

What I'm trying to get at is would our [hypothetical] house still have all my pictures of friends that he doesn't know? Would it have my books in the same bookshelf as his? Would it have his small NASCAR shrine? (Oh God, how do I know that NASCAR is in all caps???)

It's just a lot to think about. But I could get my dog.

Calm down

Dear Lee,

You can do this. You know what the problem is. You're in a new relationship. You're going out to eat A LOT. You're drinking more than normally. You're not running as much. You're on the pill. There are four major factors there that are contributing to your weight gain and they are four easy fixes. (Well, three, I'm not risking getting pregnant.) It's easy and you can do it. Crying isn't going to fix anything. It's time to take action.

Love,
Lee

Fat

It's not in my mind. I am getting fat. I am not working out enough, I'm eating crap, I'm drinking too much, I'm just being a bum in general. I am not happy about this. It's so hard though. It's like one extreme or another. I'm either super aware and vigilant and borderline eating disordered or I'm a glutton. My boss had a party last night and instead of just having a drink or two, I had more like 8 and then I ate a shitload of food - nuts, cookies and pretzels. I have a boyfriend; it's not like I want to be thin to impress guys. I want to be thin to feel good about myself. I don't feel good when I look at pictures and my face is too round.

I need to run more. I need to eat less. Sometimes I'd rather have an eating disorder than be fat. I've been both. I am not happy either way. Ugh.